Embracing Your Dark Side with Shadow Work

Most of us have a side we keep hidden a part that contains our deepest fears, old wounds, and even suppressed traits. Psychology calls this our "shadow self," and embracing it can be a valuable part of healing. Shadow work, a process rooted in the ideas of Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung, can help you bring this shadow into your conscious awareness. According to therapist Akua Boateng, Ph.D., shadow work means “diving into the unconscious material that shapes our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors,” allowing you to better understand and address these hidden aspects of yourself.

What Is Shadow Work?

The concept of the “shadow” refers to the parts of ourselves we’ve repressed, often because they weren’t socially acceptable. For example, if you were scolded for expressing anger as a child, you may have learned to suppress that emotion, presenting a more agreeable face to the world. These hidden emotions, which can include anger, jealousy, and even selfishness, make up the shadow self. Over time, these traits can contribute to unconscious behaviors and emotional triggers.

Therapist Danielle Massi, L.M.F.T., explains that the shadow self can influence our responses in relationships and increase anxiety or depression. Shadow work, she says, involves exploring this side of ourselves so we can heal past traumas, build healthier behaviors, and better understand what drives our actions. While anyone can try shadow work, working with a trained therapist is recommended, especially for those with trauma history. Qualified therapists can help guide you through difficult memories without the risk of re-traumatization.

How Shadow Work Can Benefit You

Shadow work aims to uncover hidden patterns and build self-awareness. By bringing unconscious behaviors to the surface, it’s possible to understand why you react a certain way and break free from self-sabotaging habits. “In my practice, I have seen clients break patterns of self-sabotage, addiction, and codependency,” says Boateng. She’s observed clients face subconscious patterns rooted in childhood trauma and experiences of abuse, empowering them to take control over their projections and actions.

Many who practice shadow work are on a quest to understand the “why” behind their behaviors. Boateng explains that empathy toward these learned behaviors can create “revolutionary change.” For example, shutting down emotionally may have protected you in childhood, but this habit may hinder your ability to connect as an adult. Recognizing these patterns enables you to work through them and form new, healthier behaviors.

Starting Shadow Work with a Therapist

If you’re interested in shadow work, take note of the patterns in your relationships and interactions. For instance, do you often pull away from someone as soon as they begin to open up emotionally? Boateng suggests that noticing recurring behaviors like this can signal areas to explore with shadow work.

A therapist trained in shadow work can help you dive deeper into these patterns. Sessions may begin with a meditative exercise to help you reach a relaxed, receptive state, which Massi describes as similar to the drowsy, semi-conscious state right before sleep. In this meditative state, your mind can more easily access unconscious memories, allowing you to examine past experiences that have shaped your shadow self.

While shadow work is gaining popularity, it is still a niche field within therapy. Although there isn’t an official directory, the therapist database on Psychology Today can help you locate practitioners trained in Jungian therapy, the broader field related to shadow work. Searching for “shadow work” and your location online can also yield local resources.

Can You Do Shadow Work on Your Own?

Though starting with a therapist is ideal, many people also explore shadow work on their own. Jenny Sarah from Milwaukee, for example, is working through her own experiences with shadow work, aiming to understand patterns like her tendency to “fix” her romantic partners. This behavior, she suspects, began as a coping mechanism in childhood.

If you want to try shadow work independently, begin with simple meditation to access your unconscious mind. Massi recommends lighting a candle, focusing on it for several minutes, and noting where your thoughts go. Don’t push thoughts away; instead, invite them in. Notice any patterns or memories that arise, and journal about your reactions. Reflecting on what triggers you or what emotions come up can help reveal aspects of your shadow self.

Daily triggers can also point to hidden areas within your shadow. “Do you feel upset during certain conversations, or envious of others’ success?” asks Boateng. “These are internal reactions that tell a story of your past experiences.” Massi has developed a shadow work journal with prompts to help you work through these triggers and go deeper into the exploration.

The Journey of Shadow Work

Like all therapeutic work, shadow work requires patience and self-compassion. It can be challenging, even painful, but the result is often worth it. By understanding your shadow, you can gain insight into the thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that shape your daily life. “We mustn't judge ourselves for these behaviors but hold ourselves accountable for healing from the experience,” says Boateng.

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