How to Enjoy Your Own Company Without Feeling Lonely

If you’re someone who feels anxious or uncomfortable without a friend nearby, the idea of spending a day or even an hour alone might feel unfamiliar or even daunting. But learning how to enjoy your own company is one of the most overlooked ways to support emotional well-being. And it’s not about becoming antisocial it’s about giving yourself space to reconnect, decompress, and explore who you are without outside input.

“Enjoying your own company means that you’re connected to yourself when you’re alone you’re ‘with yourself’ and not just ‘by yourself,’” explains Virginia Thomas, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at Middlebury College. In other words, you’re not lonely you’re simply alone with intention.

Here are six ways to turn solitude into self-care, and make solo time feel enriching instead of isolating.

1. Schedule time with yourself

Alone time won’t just happen you have to plan for it. Just like any important meeting, blocking out time on your calendar to recharge is a powerful way to signal that your own needs matter. Carving out solo time for reading, walking, or even sitting quietly helps train your brain to value your own presence as much as others’.

2. Remove distractions and roadblocks

Often, the discomfort with being alone stems from internal noise your phone buzzing, the TV murmuring, a to-do list demanding attention. Eliminate what pulls you away from being present. This might mean putting your phone in another room, asking a partner to take over household duties, or silencing notifications for an hour.

Shainna Ali, PhD, LMHC, adds that you should consider any emotional or logistical barriers like guilt over “not being productive” or FOMO and take steps to manage them, whether that’s journaling or reframing your thinking.

3. Set intention for your solo time

Without structure, it’s easy to fill alone time with aimless scrolling or chores. Instead, try setting a clear intention: Is this time for rest? For creative expression? For stress relief? A sense of purpose makes alone time feel nourishing.

Start a low-pressure project, return to an old hobby, or simply sit with your thoughts. The goal isn’t productivity it’s connection to yourself.

4. Tap into restorative rituals

If your mind resists slowing down, anchor your time with calming rituals. Think a long bath, a walk in nature, or five minutes of breathwork. Research shows that spending time in green spaces can reduce stress and anxiety, while mindfulness techniques like meditation can enhance mood and focus.

Dr. Thomas notes that practicing positive solitude being alone with awareness can strengthen emotional resilience and provide a healthy reset from the overstimulation of everyday life.

5. Revisit your childhood joys

Many of us lose touch with simple pleasures we once loved drawing, building with blocks, listening to music. But those seemingly “unproductive” activities can bring back a sense of ease and joy. Whether it’s working on a puzzle or dancing around your kitchen, solo play is a powerful form of self-connection.

“Taking time to practice self-care is often critical to overall well-being,” says Dr. Ali. “We can all benefit from giving ourselves permission to simply reflect on what we enjoy.”

6. Differentiate alone time from loneliness

Feeling alone isn’t the same as feeling lonely. You can be surrounded by people and still feel disconnected or spend the day solo and feel deeply fulfilled. “Solitude is often defined as a state of aloneness by choice that does not involve feeling lonely,” says Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University.

Spending time alone, especially when it’s by choice and filled with purpose, has been linked to greater creativity, problem-solving, and emotional insight. And when practiced regularly, it can improve your sense of autonomy and even enhance the quality of your relationships.

The takeaway being alone can be transformative

Alone time doesn’t have to be a last resort it can be a gift. Whether you use it to reflect, create, recharge, or simply rest, learning how to enjoy your own company builds a stronger relationship with yourself.

If solo time still feels difficult, talking with a mental health professional can help you explore why and support you in finding peace with yourself. As Dr. Ali puts it, “When we raise our awareness about the essentiality of self-care in the long run, we recognize that taking time to invest in our wellness is worthwhile.”

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