How To Silence Your Inner Critic

“Nobody likes you.” “You always screw things up.” Sound familiar? That harsh voice in your head your inner critic can pop up at the worst moments, making it harder to move forward with confidence. But while we all experience self-doubt now and then, living with a constant stream of negative self-talk can seriously impact your mental health.

“Your inner critic is a descriptive term for people who have harsh critical thoughts about themselves in an ongoing way,” says Gail Saltz, MD, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York Presbyterian Hospital. From replaying mistakes to magnifying your flaws, this inner dialogue can fuel anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem over time.

The good news? You can learn to quiet that voice. Here’s what the experts say about where your inner critic comes from and six powerful tips to silence it for good.

What is the inner critic and why do we have one?

The inner critic is often formed early in life, shaped by our upbringing, environment, and personal experiences. If you were raised in a critical household or received love based on performance, you may have internalized the idea that perfection is required for acceptance. “When you expect perfection, anything less can feel like failure,” says Sean Leonard, a psychiatric nurse practitioner at Healthy Life Recovery.

The inner critic can also be shaped by trauma, rejections, and even cultural or societal expectations. And while a little self-reflection is healthy, there’s a big difference between thoughtful introspection and chronic self-criticism.

Symptoms of a loud inner critic include:

• Constantly second-guessing yourself

• Deflecting praise

• Ruminating on mistakes

• Harsh self-judgment after small setbacks

Over time, this negative self-talk can become a habit. But like any habit, it can be unlearned.

6 expert-backed tips to quiet your inner critic

1. Identify and challenge your thoughts

You can’t change what you don’t notice. Start by recognizing when your inner critic is active. Then, gently challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself:

• Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?

• Would I say this to a friend?

• What’s the evidence that contradicts it?

“Once you recognize that these thoughts are your mind playing tricks on you, you’ll learn they’re not rooted in truth they’re just habits,” Leonard explains.

2. Practice self-compassion

Self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a loved one. Made a mistake at work? Going through a tough breakup? Instead of spiraling, offer yourself grace. “Acknowledging your missteps without punishing yourself is key,” says Leonard.

3. Use realistic, not generic, self-talk

Forget the vague mantras. Instead of forcing yourself to say, “I’m amazing,” try something more grounded. Dr. Saltz recommends reframing negative thoughts with realistic statements like:

• “I’ve made mistakes, but I also do many things well.”

• “I haven’t found the right person yet, but I am worthy of love.” Realistic affirmations are easier to believe and more likely to stick.

4. Write daily affirmations

Yes, journaling works. Writing down one positive thing about yourself each day can build confidence and weaken your inner critic. “Name some of your attributes to yourself daily,” says Dr. Saltz. Whether it’s a skill, a strength, or a personality trait, put it in writing.

5. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you stay grounded in the present instead of spinning out over past mistakes or future worries. “When a negative thought arises, acknowledge it without judgment and redirect your focus to your breath, surroundings, or a specific task,” Leonard suggests. Meditation, walking, or even deep breathing exercises like box breathing can help.

6. Reframe failure as growth

Everyone fails. It’s how you frame those failures that matters. “Mistakes are opportunities for growth,” Leonard says. Instead of “I’m a failure,” try, “I didn’t do well this time, but now I know what to work on.” This subtle shift builds resilience and reminds you that progress, not perfection, is the goal.

When to seek help

It’s normal to experience some negative self-talk. But if your inner critic is becoming overwhelming, affecting your mood, relationships, or daily functioning, consider seeking support. “Pervasive negative self-talk can be a symptom of anxiety, depression, or perfectionist burnout,” Leonard explains.

Therapy, especially cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help you identify unhelpful thought patterns and develop healthier coping mechanisms. If you're unsure where to start, ask your primary care provider for referrals or check the APA’s psychologist locator.

The bottom line

Silencing your inner critic won’t happen overnight but it is possible. Start by noticing your thoughts, speaking to yourself with more compassion, and practicing daily habits that foster confidence and resilience. And if you need extra support, there’s no shame in asking for help.

“Your inner critic is not an objective truth,” Leonard says. “It’s a conditioned response and one that can absolutely be reshaped.”

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