The Unspoken Chapter of Motherhood

From baby showers to swaddling tutorials, much of the spotlight in early parenthood shines on the baby. But behind the scenes, there's a lesser-known transformation that takes place one that changes the mother just as profoundly. This silent shift, known as matrescence, often gets overshadowed by diaper runs and feeding schedules, yet it's the very heartbeat of what it means to become a mother.

If you've ever wondered why motherhood feels so overwhelming, so tender, and so complex all at once, you're not alone. And no there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re likely in the midst of matrescence.

What Is Matrescence?

Matrescence is the physical, emotional, hormonal, and psychological transition into motherhood. It begins during pregnancy and can stretch well into the early years (or decades) of parenting. First coined in the 1970s by anthropologist Dana Raphael and later brought into the spotlight by psychologist Aurélie Athan, PhD, the term likens the motherhood transition to adolescence a time of intense growth, identity shifts, and emotional intensity.

But unlike adolescence, matrescence is rarely acknowledged or supported. “Becoming a mother doesn’t happen in one moment it unfolds over time,” says matrescence educator Victoria Trinko, MA. And it's not just biological mothers who experience it. Non-birthing parents, adoptive parents, foster parents, and surrogate parents may go through their own versions of this transformation too.

How Matrescence Affects You

Matrescence doesn’t just impact how you parent it changes how you see the world, how you relate to others, and how you understand yourself. Psychologists have identified several domains affected by this shift:

• Physical: Changes like postpartum recovery, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and even “mommy brain” are real. The maternal brain undergoes actual rewiring to support attachment and care.

• Emotional: Love, joy, anxiety, grief, identity loss it’s all part of the experience. Old traumas or vulnerabilities can resurface, often unexpectedly.

• Social: Relationships shift. Friendships may feel different, your romantic partnership may evolve, and even family dynamics can change.

• Cognitive and spiritual: You may find yourself rethinking your values, questioning your purpose, or even experiencing a shift in your belief system.

The changes don’t happen in a neat, linear order. And they’re not always visible. That’s what makes matrescence so tricky and why many mothers feel blindsided or isolated.

Why It’s Been Overlooked

We live in a culture that prepares people to care for a baby but rarely prepares them for the equally important evolution of the mother. Much of our healthcare and social support systems are baby-focused. Trinko points out that maternal experiences are often medicalized or pathologized instead of being validated as normal parts of a developmental stage.

“Too often, we treat mothers like something is broken when really, they’re just going through a very real, very human process,” she explains. Without the language of matrescence, many women end up blaming themselves or feeling like they’re failing.

And while social media has helped normalize some aspects of motherhood, the deeper emotional and identity-level shifts still often go unspoken. That’s beginning to change, thanks to advocates, mental health professionals, and communities like Seed Mother, which offer education and support specifically around matrescence.

The Unique Experience of Black Mothers

Matrescence isn’t one-size-fits-all and for Black mothers, the journey often comes with added layers of complexity. “Matrescence should be a transformative experience, not a traumatic one,” says Dana Sherrod, MPH, co-founder of the California Coalition for Black Birth Justice.

Black women face disproportionate risks in maternal health, including a maternal mortality rate that is nearly three times that of white women. These disparities persist regardless of education or income, often rooted in systemic racism and medical bias. Constantly needing to advocate for themselves just to be heard can add a heavy burden to the already vulnerable process of matrescence.

Cultural expectations to “be strong” and historic mistrust of healthcare systems can also make it difficult for Black mothers to access the support they need. But a growing number are reclaiming their experiences through midwifery, home births, and Black-led maternal wellness initiatives.

Where Do We Go From Here?

Awareness is the first step. Understanding that matrescence is real and that it’s normal can be incredibly validating. But awareness alone isn’t enough. We need:

• Better education: Include matrescence in childbirth prep, parenting classes, and healthcare provider training.

• More support systems: From therapy and support groups to workplace policies that honor parental transitions.

• Greater cultural recognition: Let’s treat matrescence not as a problem to be fixed but as a life phase to be honored and supported.

And for anyone in the thick of this shift: You don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re allowed to evolve, to grieve the old you, to celebrate the new parts of you and to be unsure somewhere in between. Motherhood is not just about giving life to someone else it’s about becoming someone new yourself.

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