Why It’s Hard to Cry and How to Start Opening Up Emotionally

There’s nothing like a good cry to leave you feeling lighter and more at ease. But what happens when the tears just won’t come, even when you’re feeling sad or overwhelmed?

If it feels like your emotions are locked away, you’re not alone. Here’s why you might be struggling to cry and how to reconnect with your emotions in a healthy way.

Why Crying Is Good for You

Crying is one of the body’s natural ways of releasing emotions and even toxins, according to Jodie Skillicorn, DO, a holistic psychiatrist and author. Emotional tears contain stress hormones like adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), which decrease cortisol levels in your body, helping you shift out of the fight-or-flight state.

In other words, crying can be a powerful tool for emotional and physical relief. But if you’re unable to shed tears, it may indicate deeper emotional or physical issues.

7 Reasons You Can’t Cry

1. You’re Repressing Your Emotions

Many people unconsciously push down emotions due to past experiences where expressing feelings was discouraged. This repression can harm your health, contributing to issues like high blood pressure and chronic disease.

2. You Feel Pressured to ‘Stay Strong’

Societal messages like the idea that crying is weak or “unmanly” often teach us to suppress our emotions. Over time, this can lead to emotional stunting and physical health issues.

3. You’ve Internalized That Crying Isn’t Effective

If you were taught as a child that crying wouldn’t bring comfort, you may have internalized the belief that tears are a waste of time. This learned helplessness can limit your ability to process and release emotions.

4. You’re Disconnected From Your Feelings

Modern society’s emphasis on thinking over feeling often causes people to disconnect from their bodies, where emotions are truly experienced. This detachment is often a survival mechanism in response to trauma or shame.

5. You’re Depressed

Depression can sometimes blunt emotional expression, including crying. Alternatively, repressing emotions can also lead to depressive states, creating a cycle of emotional disconnection.

6. You’re Taking Certain Medications

Antidepressants, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), are known to dampen emotional expression, including the ability to cry.

7. You Have a Medical Condition

Certain physical conditions, like dry eye, Sjogren’s syndrome, or thyroid disorders, can affect tear production and make it physically difficult to cry.

How to Open Up and Release Emotions

1. Reconnect With Your Body

To access your emotions, start by tuning into your body:

• Identify where you feel tension or restriction, such as your chest or throat.

• Breathe into these areas and invite the tension to release.

• Ask your body what it needs, even if the answer isn’t immediate.

2. Pay Attention to Your Thoughts

Notice any thoughts or beliefs about crying that arise.

• Journal about where these messages came from and whether they still serve you.

• Explore these feelings with curiosity, not judgment.

3. Talk to a Therapist

If reconnecting with your emotions feels overwhelming, consider working with a therapist. They can guide you in unpacking past experiences and help you process emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

The Bottom Line

Crying is a natural, healthy way to process and release emotions. If you find it difficult to cry, it may be a sign of emotional repression, societal conditioning, or an underlying physical or mental health issue.

By reconnecting with your body, exploring your beliefs about emotions, and seeking support when needed, you can begin to unlock your feelings and find the emotional release you need.

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