How to Practice Self-Care During Times of Grief

Losing a loved one is one of life’s most challenging experiences. While everyone’s grief journey is unique, prioritizing self-care can help you navigate the difficult days. It’s natural for your own well-being to take a back seat during times of mourning, but taking small, intentional steps can make a big difference.

Here are seven thoughtful ways to care for yourself when you’re grieving.

1. Allow Yourself to Feel and Reflect

Grief is a deeply personal experience. While the classic stages of grief denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance provide a framework, your journey might not follow a clear path.

• Embrace Your Emotions: Trauma therapist Milica Popovic, LPC, explains that grief isn't linear. You might cycle through emotions, and that's completely normal.

• Journaling as a Tool: Write down your feelings, create bullet lists of thoughts, or even pen a letter to your lost loved one. If writing isn’t your style, try expressing your feelings through art, like drawing or painting.

Pro Tip: Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditations for grief, which can help you connect with and understand your emotions.

2. Water Your SEEDS

SEEDS is a simple self-care acronym: Sleep, Eating, Exercise, Doctors' orders, and Self-care. Maintaining these basic needs can provide stability when everything else feels uncertain.

• Small Steps Matter: You don’t need to overhaul your lifestyle. A 10-minute walk, a balanced meal, or a mindful moment can help.

• Ask Yourself: Have you eaten today? Slept enough? Taken your medications if needed? Gentle reminders can keep you grounded.

Pro Tip: Set reminders on your phone for regular self-check-ins. This can help you stay on top of your SEEDS, even when the days feel heavy.

3. Stay Connected But on Your Terms

Spending time with loved ones can provide comfort, but it’s important to honor your need for solitude as well.

• Listen to Your Needs: Some days you may crave company, while other days you might need quiet time. Ask yourself each morning what kind of support would feel best.

• Social Support and Grief: A 2019 study in the Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services found that those with low social support often experience more intense grief. However, quality matters more than quantity meaningful interactions are key.

Pro Tip: Whether connecting with a friend or spending time alone, be mindful of your intentions. Make sure you’re not using either to avoid processing your emotions.

4. Find Healing Through Helping

Helping others can be a powerful way to find purpose and comfort in your grief. Whether it’s volunteering, supporting a friend, or simply offering a listening ear, giving back can shift your focus and bring relief.

• The Science Behind It: A study published in Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin found that helping others can reduce depressive symptoms, particularly in the months following a loss.

• Start Small: You don’t need to dive into large commitments. Simple acts of kindness, like donating clothes or preparing a meal for someone in need, can be just as impactful.

5. Let Go of Timelines

There is no “normal” timeline for grief. Your path may not look like anyone else’s, and that’s okay.

• Think of Grief as a Wiggly Line: “We go back and forth through the stages of grief until we reach a place of acceptance,” says psychologist Jeffrey Lichtman, PhD.

• Set Personal Milestones: Instead of comparing your progress to others, set small, personal goals. Whether it’s a short walk, a new hobby, or getting through a day without overwhelming sadness, celebrate each step forward.

6. Seek Professional Support When Needed

Therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings, learn coping strategies, and find comfort. There’s no shame in seeking help nearly one-third of Americans have turned to mental health counseling, according to a 2013 University of Phoenix survey.

• When to Consider Therapy: If your basic needs (like sleep, eating, or self-care) are consistently neglected, or if emotions feel too intense to manage alone, it might be time to reach out to a mental health professional.

• Getting Started: Speak with a trusted friend, family member, or healthcare provider about finding resources. Many general physicians can also recommend mental health specialists.

7. Trust That Healing Will Come

While the pain of loss may never completely disappear, the intensity often lessens with time. Developing a sense of “radical acceptance” acknowledging what is outside of your control can help create space for healing.

• Focus on What You Can Control: Eat nourishing meals, get fresh air, spend time with supportive people, or find quiet moments to reflect. These small actions can help you regain a sense of stability.

• Remind Yourself: It’s okay to have difficult days. Progress isn’t always linear, and setbacks are a natural part of the grieving process.

The Bottom Line

Grief is a complex and deeply personal experience. There is no right or wrong way to process loss what matters most is finding gentle ways to care for yourself along the way.

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