Understanding Deadnaming What You Should Know

Deadnaming happens when a transgender or nonbinary person is called by a name they no longer use, often their birth name. Whether intentional or accidental, deadnaming can cause real harm, sending a message that a person’s gender identity isn’t valid.

This article explains what deadnaming is, why it matters, and what to do if you make a mistake or are on the receiving end of one.

Why Deadnaming Is Harmful

For many transgender and nonbinary people, choosing a new name is an essential part of affirming their identity. Being called by an old name can:

• Invalidate identity: Suggests the person’s affirmed gender isn’t recognized.

• Trigger emotional pain: Hearing the former name can bring back feelings of rejection or trauma.

• Risk safety: It may “out” someone in unsafe environments, potentially exposing them to discrimination or harm.

Research has shown that affirming a person’s chosen name is closely tied to mental health benefits. A 2018 study found that trans youth who were able to use their chosen name at school, home, work, and with friends experienced 71% fewer symptoms of severe depression and a 65% decrease in suicide attempts.

Understanding Transgender and Nonbinary Identities

• Transgender (trans): Describes someone whose gender differs from the one assigned at birth.

• Nonbinary: Refers to people whose gender identity doesn’t fit neatly into “male” or “female.”

These identities are valid and deeply personal, and respecting them includes using a person’s chosen name.

What to Do If You Deadname Someone

Mistakes can happen, especially if you’ve known someone by their previous name. The best way to handle it is:

• Apologize quickly and simply. A brief “Sorry, I meant [chosen name]” is enough.

• Avoid over-apologizing. Making it about your guilt can shift focus and cause more discomfort.

• Move forward respectfully. Practice using their chosen name to reduce future slip-ups.

What to Do If You Are Being Deadnamed

If you’re the one being deadnamed:

• Correct them in the moment if you feel comfortable.

• Lean on allies to step in and help when repeated mistakes happen.

• Seek outside support if the situation feels unsafe.

Helpful hotlines include:

• Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860

• The Trevor Project (for LGBTQIA+ youth)

• LGBT National Hotline: 888-843-4564

Why It Matters

Using someone’s chosen name isn’t just polite it’s a form of respect and validation. For people who have fought hard to express their identity, it can mean safety, comfort, and recognition of who they truly are.

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